


Ho`i Mai

by daughter_of_lilith



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, Fix-it fic, Friendship, Getting Together, M/M, PTSD, Pining, Relationship Issues, Season 7 AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-12
Updated: 2016-09-23
Packaged: 2018-08-14 14:51:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8018305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daughter_of_lilith/pseuds/daughter_of_lilith
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A year ago Danny couldn't have imagined a life without Steve in it, now it's an all-too-painful reality. But how to do you fix a friendship when there's five thousand miles between you?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, this is gonna be a lot of angst, you have been warned. After everything that was said and done in season 6 I just don't think a simple 'sorry' is gonna fix their friendship. I think they're both got a lot of stuff to deal with before they can go back to where they were in the early seasons, and this is my attempt to get them there. The end goal is McDanno, so if you don't like angst, at least know the payoff will be a happy ending.
> 
> This is kind of a thematic-successor to a previous story of mine, but it's definitely not necessary to read that one to understand this. For those of you who don't like to read WIPs this is all written, I'm just editing the rest as I go, and it'll all be uploaded before the S7 premiere on the 23rd.

JANUARY 2017

The numbers were dancing across his field of vision. Figures darted from one column to another as totals recalculated and combined. He was so close, he could feel it. The numbers didn’t lie, they couldn’t. They could be twisted and distorted but the truth was buried in there somewhere. He just had to dig it out. Evan closed his eyes and breathed out slowly, watching the columns dance across the inside of his eyelids. This wasn’t the most complicated financial mess he’d ever seen, but there were several interesting little wrinkles that were making it difficult to unravel...

*cough*

Evan startled at the unexpected noise, the carefully constructed columns of figures collapsing in his mind's eye. God, he’d told them all a thousand times not to disturb him when he’s in the zone. If it was Mark again he was going to… He looked up, oh, not Mark then. 

The man standing in front of him was older, Asian, and had cheekbones you could cut yourself with. He was wearing a—fairly restrained—Hawaiian print shirt and looking down at Evan with a hint of amusement in his eyes. He was also carrying a jacket that was soaking from the heavy New York sleet falling outside.

“Yes? Can I help you?” Evan asked tersely. 

“I hope so brah, I’m looking for your boss. Reception said I should find him up here.”

“Chief’s not here. He always starts late on Thursdays.”

The man continued to stare at him, clearly waiting for more. Right, what was Nancy always saying? Something about humans and social interaction? Ah, he had it now. “He should get here around 10, um, I guess you can wait over there if you want.” He waved towards the little kitchen area in the corner of the offices. “You can help yourself to coffee if you like, but be warned, Gina seems to think caffeine should be ingested in weaponized form.”

The man smiled, “thanks for the warning.” He wandered over to the kitchenette and looked at the coffee machine contemplatively for a moment before sitting down. He pulled out his phone and started tapping away, clearly working on something. Evan watched him for a few minutes before standing and making his way over to Nancy’s office. 

“Hey Nance, we got a visitor. He’s looking for the Chief.” 

Nancy sighed dramatically and stared at him over the top of her glasses. “I thought we’d finally got this figured out Evan, people stop by every day looking for him, it should not be this shocking.”

“Yeah, but this one’s different. I think he’s from Hawaii.” Nancy’s perfectly sculpted eyebrows rose. 

“And what makes you think that?” She twisted to the side to get a clear view towards the kitchen. 

“Well look at him, there’s no way he’s from New York. He’s way too zen to be local, and well... that shirt. He doesn’t look like the sort of hipster that would wear that ironically.”

Nancy nods contemplatively, then her eyes widen. “Do you think…?” 

“Of course I do, that’s why I came in here. Do you think we should text him, maybe warn him before he gets here?”

But at that moment they hear the Chief’s voice out in the hallway. “Nancy! I need you to look over Richardson’s travel records again, I think there’s a connection there that we’re just not seeing.” He pushes through the doorway to the offices, coffee in one hand, file folder tucked under his arm, and stops dead when he sees their visitor. A host of expressions cross his face too quickly to catalogue, then suddenly he breaks out in the biggest smile Evan has ever seen. “Chin Ho Kelly!” He strides forward and envelopes the man in a crushing hug. Pulling back he grips Kelly by the shoulder “It’s great to see you babe, what tragedy brings you to my neck of the woods?”

“Hey Danny,” the other man replies. “It’s good to see you too.”

~~~~~

“So if it’s not a case, to what do I owe the pleasure of your company?” Danny asks a few minutes later when they’re comfortably seated in his office. It’s large and open, with glass walls looking out onto the main work area where the rest of the team is clustered around the coffee maker having a heated discussion. Nancy and Evan seem to be on one side against two others that Chin hasn’t been introduced to yet. Evan’s hands are waving around frantically as he tries to make his point.

He turns back to face Danny. “I’m actually in town for the law enforcement tech conference this weekend. The table back at headquarters is due for replacement soon so I figured I’d scope out what new upgrades are available.”

Danny nods. “Right, Evan was bugging me about going to that. Unfortunately the budget won’t stretch to any more toys this year.” He grins at Chin. “Kid’s a brilliant analyst, but his enthusiasm runs away with him sometimes.” He stares over Chin’s shoulder at the fracas over by the coffee machine. “Then we’ve got Nancy, twenty years on the force here in the city. She can tell you exactly how you feel about your mother just by asking you about your socks. Absolutely brilliant at reading people, if I didn’t know better I’d swear she was psychic. Mark’s there is ex-NSA. He quit when he realized they were more interested in spying on their own people than the terrorists. He can be a bit hotheaded, but he’s got good instincts. Finally there’s Gina, encyclopedic knowledge of the law, frighteningly accurate with any type of gun, but can’t make drinkable coffee if her life depended on it. Seriously, you could use her brew to strip paint.” He gives a dramatic shudder, and strides from behind his desk towards the door. Opening it he yells out “Knock it off you animals! You want my friend here to get the impression we work in a zoo?! Jeez, just brew a new pot already.”

There’s a plaintive chorus of “Yes, boss,” as the others make their way back to their offices, leaving Evan triumphant by the coffee maker.

Danny makes his way back to his chair, shaking his head in mock despair. “I must have kicked kittens in a previous life. You’d think in my own office I could enforce some kind of professionalism…”

Chin smiles wistfully. “Sounds like you’ve got yourself a pretty good team here.” He takes a moment to look Danny over properly. The tightly shellacked hair is the same as ever, as are the slacks and button down shirt, but he’s taken to wearing ties again, and his tan is almost completely gone. Yet he seems more relaxed than Chin can remember seeing him in a long time, despite the shadow lurking in the depths of his eyes when he looks at his former coworker.

Danny sighs, “Yeah, they’re pretty great, really, they’re the best at what they do, and the taskforce here is getting great clearance rates. But it’s not the same, ya know?” He takes a quick sip of his coffee then asks with forced brightness; “So, how are things back home?”

Chin grins widely, “What? Eric not keeping you in the loop?”

“What can I say, the kid’s a putz.” Danny shrugs, “I know all the gruesome details of the cases he’s helped with, and more than I care to about his love life, or lack thereof, but he’s surprisingly reticent with details about all of you.”

Chin smiles lightly, “We’re all good brah. Adam got out a few months ago. He’s been working on re-establishing his businesses, but he managed to convince Kono to take a vacation. Of course she chose Fiji so they could go surfing, but they’ve had a rough couple of years, they deserved the break. Jerry’s still enjoying his basement office, but he finally got his badge...” 

“Yeah I heard about that one,” Danny interrupts. “I have no idea how he got my email address here, but he sends me regular updates on all the local conspiracy theories.” 

Chin laughs and shakes his head, “Same old Jerry. Kamekona continues to expand his empire. He’s looking at opening a hotel now, can you imagine?”

Danny grimaces in mock horror, “I can not think of anything more terrifying than trying to sleep with an image of that man’s face staring down at me.”

“You and me both.” Chin replies laughing. “And of course, the biggest news... Abby and I are getting married.”

Danny’s face splits into a wide grin. “I knew that woman needed her head examined. Congrats my friend.” He reaches across the desk and bumps fists with Chin. “Finally going to make an honest woman out of her?”

“Actually, she’s going to make an honest man out of me,” Chin responds, grinning at the memory. “That’s part of why I stopped by actually. It would mean a lot to us if you’d agree to come to the wedding.” 

Danny shifts uncomfortably, “I don’t know if I can, I mean, things the way they are…”

“Danny,” Chin says firmly. “You’re one of my closest friends. I want you to be there with me.” He stares at his friend, knowing what’s running through Danny’s mind. “If it helps we’re having the wedding in San Francisco. Abby wanted it to be near her family, and I’ve already had the whole Hawaiian wedding experience…”

Danny looks at him with sympathetic eyes, “I’ll think about it, seriously. That’s… that’s all I can promise right now. But really man, I’m happy for you, and it means a lot you want me there.”

They stare at each other for a moment in silent understanding before Danny blinks and looks away. “And what about Sara, how’s fatherhood treating you? A wife and child in the same year,” he shakes his head, “although most people do it the other way round.” 

Chin looks down at the floor trying to marshal his thoughts. “It’s a lot… different… than I thought it would be.” He pauses, trying to decide what to say. But this is Danny, if anyone is going to understand what’s going on it’ll be him. “She seemed to be doing really well. I mean as well as a child can do when she’s lost both her parents. But since the engagement she’s been really quiet. She hasn’t been acting out, that would have been easier to deal with, but she’s been withdrawn, and she’s started clinging to Kono a lot.” He sighs. “We talked about it and she said she likes Abby, but her behavior is telling me the opposite. I’m just not sure what to do.”

“He looks up to see Danny regarding him with fond affection. “Oh my friend, welcome to being a parent. You’ll get used to the worrying eventually. Or you’ll end up a neurotic mess like yours truly. But I think I can help with this particular problem.” He leans back in his chair. “Now listen closely and I will bestow upon you the wisdom of my vast parenting experience. Grace went through something similar when Rach and I divorced. All of a sudden she wanted to hang out with Uncle Matty all the time. She didn’t take well to change and Matty was a constant in her life when everything else was such a mess. Once we’d figured everything out and were managing to be civil to one another again she slowly went back to normal, but she just needed that stability to help her deal with everything. And Matty was so good with her. He never complained about spending all his free time with a six year old, he just did everything he could to make her feel safe while her parents were busy being jerks.” 

“I think that’s why his death hit me so hard” he continues staring off into the distance. “I mean I was mad at him for myself, but more so cause he let Gracie down. And I never got a chance deal with that before he was gone for good.”

He pauses a moment, then shakes his head and looks over at Chin again. “But I’d be prepared to bet once everything settles down again after the wedding she’ll come round. Kids are amazingly resilient.”

There’s a moment when only the noise of the phone ringing in the main office disturbs the quiet. “So,” Danny begins with forced casualness. “I notice you left our fearless leader our of your little roundup there. How’s Steve doing?”

Chin freezes. He knew the question was coming, but now it’s here he’s not sure what to say. Luckily he’s saved by Gina bursting into the office. “Boss! We got a hit on Moyles. His car was spotted down by the docks. I think that’s where he’s making the deal.”

“All right, tell the team to gear up.” He turns to Chin all business again. “Sorry babe, work calls, you know how it is.”

Chin nods, “Could you use another hand?” he asks, hopefully. 

“I think we got this covered.” Danny states. “Besides, don’t you have better things to do than work on your vacation?”

“Not really.” Chin says mildly. “I figured surfing wouldn’t be on the cards here so I brought some paperwork to keep me busy until the conference, going out with you and your team sounds like a much better option. It’ll be just like old times.”

Danny stares at him contemplatively for a moment before turning back to Gina. “Grab a shotgun and a vest for Lieutenant Kelly here, he’ll be joining our little party.” Gina nods sharply at Chin and beckons him to follow as she bustles out again. 

“Just like old times,” Danny mutters under his breath.


	2. Chapter 2

“Alright, listen up! We are doing this by the book. We go in quick, we go in quiet, and we get Moyles in custody before he knows what’s going on.” Mark’s voice rang out authoritatively as the team disgorged from their unmarked black SUVs a block away from the warehouse where their target was hiding.

“So what’s the deal with this guy?” Chin muttered quietly to Evan at his side.

“Moyles? He’s a suspected drug smuggler, but so far he’s been far too smart to ever be caught near his product.” He grins, “It’s been driving the DEA up the wall. We’re actually here to bust him for murder on an old cold case we were looking into. A former associate of his was found floating in the river five years ago, and some recent developments in ballistics analysis finally gave us the evidence we need to arrest him.”

“So that’s what you guys do then? Work cold cases?”

“Not really, it’s about fifty-fifty new crime versus old stuff. I’m sure it’s not as glamorous as what Five-0 gets up to, but you’d be amazed how often evidence from an old case helps with an active investigation.” Evan cocks his pistol and stares at Danny, tense with anticipation.

Danny stands beside the SUV and gives the looming brick warehouse across the road a long considering look. The wind tries to ruffle his hair but after a halfhearted attempt is forced to admit defeat. He seems calm and collected here, so different from how he’d worked in Hawaii. “Ok,” he finally says. “Nancy, you’re with me, Mark you go round the back with Evan, Chin and Gina take the south side entrance. Cover your exits and make sure he doesn’t sneak past you. I don’t want to have to track this scumbag down again. Remember we need to make him roll over on his drug suppliers so don’t be indiscriminate with the bullets. I will not be happy if he gets shot. Watch your partner’s back and we should have this all wrapped up nice and easy. Got it?”

His team choruses their assent and move off to their assigned entry points. Chin follows Gina as she rounds the warehouse and mentally curses the winter weather. He feels weighted down by his jacket and vest and there’s sleet dripping down the back of his neck. The temperature is freezing and he’s starting to regret his impulse to volunteer to come along for this one. They make their way quietly to the side entrance and he opens the door for Gina to enter first. She holds her weapon up and ready and they quickly make their way across the warehouse floor towards the offices at the back. He makes eye contact with Mark across the open floor and motions that they’ll take the upper level offices. Gina’s half way up the rusty metal stairs when they hear the shout.

“Hands up Moyles, you’re under arrest!”

The next thing Chin knows there’s an explosion of shouting and gunfire. He can hear Danny yelling over the comms “Chin we’re pinned down by Moyle’s goons here, but he’s heading your way. Stop him.”

Chin turns just in time for a large, musclebound mook that must be Moyles crash into him, knocking him to the floor and sending his shotgun skittering away. He tries to grab hold of Moyles, but he’s up and moving with a speed that’s surprising considering his bulk. Chin makes one last desperate dive to grab the fleeing man’s ankle but no luck.

Then he hears a yell and turns to see Gina launch herself from her position halfway up the staircase. She lands on Moyle’s back and sends him crashing to the ground. She rolls to her feet, smoothly pulling out her handcuffs and clicks them around his wrists. Then she turns to look at Chin and beams.

“Don’t tell the Chief I did that, I don’t want to be responsible for raising his blood pressure. He’s got something against doing things the fun way.” She shakes her head and rolls her eyes to show what she thinks of that particular restriction, and Chin thinks that she better never meet Kono. If the two of them ever got together the rest of the world wouldn’t stand a chance.

He climbs stiffly to his feet, the adrenalin of the short altercation leaving him feeling twitchy and keyed up. He can hear Danny approaching down the hallway. “Michael Moyles, it’s so good to finally meet you, let me explain to you your miranda rights, you’re gonna want to listen up. You have the right to remain silent...”

“I got nothing to say to you cop.” Moyles spits at Danny. “I know my rights and I know you haven’t got anything on me. I’m a legit businessman but for some reason you damn cops seem to think I’m some kinda drug smuggler.”

“Oh we don’t think you’re some kinda drug smuggler, we _know_ you’re some kinda drug smuggler. And sooner or later you’re luck is gonna run out there, but we’re not here about the drugs.” Danny’s hands have started waving around as he builds up steam and Chin stands back to enjoy the show.

“We’re actually here about Eddie Whitson. You remember Eddie? He was found floating in the Hudson about five years ago. Shot in both knees and the back of the head. Terrible way to go, just terrible, and such a shame that his little dip in the river destroyed all the forensic evidence.”

“Yeah, I remember Eddie.” Moyles starts cautiously. “But what’s that gotta do with me?”

“Well,” Danny crosses his arms and leans back a little. “Time marches on my friend, and the scientists in the forensic labs, they’re always working on new ways to analyze the evidence they get. Turns out that these days there are ways to link the gun you bought off Marsden the week before Eddie’s unfortunate swim to the bullet hole in his skull.” He turns and looks at Evan. “Amazing thing technology. I’m not much good at it myself, what with my goofy thumbs and all, but it certainly does make my job easier.”

The cocky smile on Moyles’ face has slipped into a lot less confident expression. “There’s no way that will stand up in court, it’s all circumstantial.”

Danny waves his hands in a ‘what are you gonna do’ manner. “Maybe it will, maybe it won’t. But along with the statement from Marsden that he sold you that gun I’m willing to take the chance. What about you? Oh, and by the way, while you’re fighting the murder rap the DEA will be going through every part of your life with great attention to detail, better hope they don’t find anything on those non-existent drugs you don’t smuggle.”

Mark leans over and pulls Moyles to his feet. “Come on, time for you to go. I got a ride on it’s way for you now.” The sound of approaching police sirens makes itself heard as Mark hustles Moyles towards the entrance. Then there’s half a dozen NYPD officers in the warehouse helping to hustle Moyles’ goons towards the waiting cars, and a van load of forensic techs make themselves busy processing the scene and sifting through the paperwork in his office.

Danny stands in the middle of it all directing the proceedings with calm authority. He catches Chin watching him from where he’s perched on a crate to stay out of everyone’s way and grins wide and satisfied. He walks over and clasps him on the shoulder. “Just like old times.”

~~~~~

Turns out that whether you’re in Hawaii or New York the post case ritual is exactly the same. Once the warehouse had been stripped of every piece of evidence and all the ‘i’s dotted and ‘t’s crossed on the requisite paperwork Danny and his new team had dragged Chin along for beers to celebrate the successful end to a long-standing case. The decor of the place they’d chosen left something to be desired, but the beer was cheap and the music quiet enough that they could talk without having to shout so that was something. Sitting there watching the team argue back and forth about the finer points of the take down Chin feels an overwhelming sense of nostalgia. He hadn’t realized how much he’d missed this. Turning to look at Danny he catches the other man’s knowing smile. Damn, he’d forgotten just how good he is at reading people.

Danny leans in and quietly remarks “I miss it too, but I just couldn’t see any other way. You get that right?”

Before Chin can answer the chorus of some ridiculously cheery teen-pop song rings out and Danny jumps, reaching into his pocket to pull out his phone. Glancing down at the screen he slides out of the booth. “Sorry everyone, gotta take this. I’ll be back.” As he walks over towards the entrance Chin can just hear him say “Hey Monkey! How’s London…” He smiles and shakes his head slightly, it seems there are still a few constants in the universe; death, taxes, and Danny William’s utter dedication to his children. It’s good to know some things never change.

Turning back to the table he finds himself the focus of four very intense stares. Gina’s the first to speak. “Ok, now the Chief’s gone you gotta tell us, what really happened in Hawaii?”

“What about Hawaii...” Chin stalls. If Danny hasn’t told them anything then it’s not really his place to...

“With the plane man!” Evan exclaims. “The crash on the beach and the aftermath. Chief won’t talk about it. Is it true he landed the plane himself?”

“And that he took down the drug runners less than and hour later with two broken ribs” Nancy adds in.

“And the liver thing. I mean, I’ve seen the scar but I just can’t believe it. Please tell me that part’s an exaggeration.” Mark finishes.

Oh, that. Ok. “Yeah, it’s all true.” Chin confirms. “Danny and our boss McGarrett went undercover to track down some drug smugglers whose product was killing teens. They were flying the drugs back to Oahu when a rival gang shot up their plane. McGarrett was pretty badly injured. We found out that day that you can stop a Navy SEAL. It just takes a _lot_ of bullets.” He stops and takes a sip of his beer, his audience is listening with rapt attention.

“So McGarrett’s out cold, and he’s the only one that knows how to fly the plane. Danny calls for help, but he has to let out that they’re Five-0 and of course that freaks out the drug runner in the back seat. I don’t know exactly what Danny said to talk him down, but he convinces him not to shoot them both and to let Danny attempt to land. He was never going to make the airport with one engine shot to hell so ATC wanted him to put down in the water, said it would be an easier landing, but Danny knew there was no way McGarrett would survive that in the state he was in so he insisted on landing on the beach. He got them all down safely but banged himself up pretty good in the process.”

“McGarrett was rushed to hospital while we tracked down the guy that shot up the plane. Danny insisted on being part of the raid, wouldn’t take no for an answer. Then we hear that McGarrett’s liver was destroyed by one of the bullets. Danny instantly stepped up and offered to be a donor, didn’t even hesitate. If you knew how close those two were you’d understand…” Chin tails off trying not to think about how that mess ended. “But yeah, the whole thing was pretty surreal.”

There’s a pause while the four team members stare at Chin with identical shocked expressions. “HOLY SHIT!” Evan yells. “Chief’s a stone-cold badass! I knew it! Pay up Gina!”

Gina reaches around for her wallet and starts pulling out bills. “Gah, I did not think a man that bitches as much as the Chief does about proper procedure could have pulled something like that. I thought it must have been an exaggeration.” Evan cackles maniacally. “Shouldn’t have bet against the Chief.”

Nancy turns to Chin. “How the hell did that not make the news? You’d think a story like that would have been all over the place for weeks afterwards. We had to go to youtube to find footage of the crash, and there was barely any news coverage, even from your local stations.”

Chin grimaces. “The governor doesn’t exactly approve of some of the ways we operate. He got the local news to cover it as a turf war between drug smugglers gone wrong. He didn’t want the public to know Five-0 was behind it. Said it would threaten our credibility if it got out that one of our own almost killed a bunch of tourists and did a couple million in property damage.”

“And that’s why I don’t like to talk about it.” Danny’s voice interjects from behind. Chin starts guiltily. “You were not there for the meeting with the Governor afterwards. He was very sarcastic my friend, very cutting with his remarks about how our beloved danger-magnet was causing more damage to the islands than the criminals. Said he was very disappointed that I was following in his footsteps.” He shudders. “It was a dressing down that I do not like to remember, so can we leave it alone now?”

“But Chief... “ Evan whines.

“Yeah, cat’s out the bag now boss.” Mark adds, “Might as well just let him ask his questions. You know he’ll explode if you don’t.”

Danny looks over to where Evan is practically vibrating in his seat and sighs mightily. “Fine. But just for tonight. After we’re done here I don’t want to talk about it again. Get it?”

Evan grins like all his Christmases have come at once. “Got it Chief. So first off how does it feel to be a hero?”

Danny groans and drops his head into his hands. “I’m not a hero, I was just doing my job…”

“Seriously Chief?” Gina protests, “You manage to emergency land a plane to save your boss’s life and then give him half your liver? If that was just a regular day in the office in Hawaii no wonder you wanted to come back to the east coast.”

Watching the team grill Danny Chin startles to realize that maybe he’s lost his sense of perspective. He’s so used to Five-0’s death defying stunts that he’d forgotten that most cops can go their entire careers and barely even use their weapon. They certainly don’t get involved in shootouts on an almost weekly basis, and crash-landing a shot-up plane while their partner bleeds out beside them? Not a frequent occurrence at all. Had the team really gotten so blasé that they’d treated Danny’s actions as just another day at the office? Watching his new team listen in awe to Danny’s tale makes him think that maybe, just maybe, they’d screwed up.

~~~~~

It’s nearly midnight before the others leave, shaking Chin’s hand as they do so and inviting him to come back and visit anytime. Once they’re gone he and Danny sit in comfortable silence for a while, watching some sports recaps on the tvs as Danny nurses his second beer of the evening.

After a while he starts fidgeting with the label, obviously working himself up to speak. “Steve’s not doing well is he?” Danny finally asks.

Chin sighs and stares at the grain of the table. “No he’s not.” He finally responds. “He’s trying to hide it, but he’s hurting brah.” He pauses, deciding how much to reveal to his former partner. “His Navy discharge came through just after you left. Turns out if you have to take anti-rejection meds for the rest of your life you’re not allowed to be a SEAL anymore. He took that one hard. Actually called in sick to work for the first time any of us could remember, after so long in the Navy and then the reserves I don’t think he quite knows how to define himself without the military.”

Danny slumps down on his seat, “you know if I’d have known everything before hand I would have still gone through with it, no matter how much he blames me for it now.”

“I’m sure he doesn’t blame you.” Chin tries to reassure him.

“I think we’ll just have to agree to disagree on that particular point, but you were saying?”

Chin takes a drink and continues. “Well, it certainly didn’t help his recovery when Doris showed up again a few months back with Catherine in tow. Apparently those two have been working together for for a while now. He said they wanted his help with some kind of op to go after Wo Fat’s father. I wasn’t there to see it, but the way he told it to us afterwards it sounds like he threw them out and told them never to come back. Steve said they heard about the crash and couldn’t be bothered to show up until they needed something from him. Since then he’s been even more overbearing and closed off than usual.”

Danny huffs out a resigned laugh, “I should have seen that coming. Nobody in that man’s life has ever been quite what they seem. They all just want something from him, nobody is ever just a friend.”

“You were.” Chin notes quietly.

“But in the end I left him too.” Danny stares off into the distance. “There’s a part of me that will never forgive myself for that.”

“Why Danny? Why did you leave?” Chin asks. “I know the job offer couldn’t have been the real reason.”

Danny takes a deep swallow of his beer, then he turns to Chin, his face thoughtful as though weighing him to receive the truth. Then after a moment he turns and stares out over the bar. “You know what Steve said to me in hospital after the transplant? He said that Charlie would grow up to hate me.”

“What…” Chin tries to interject but Danny holds up his hand for silence.

“And I knew we were having some rough times, and the arguments had been a little heavier than usual, but that one… man… that one hurt. But then I started thinking back over the past few years, and I kinda started to agree with him.”

“Danny…”

“No Chin, do not try and sooth my delicate feelings here ok? I’ve had a lot of time to think about this and work through it and for the last few years I was not a very good friend, and I see that now. I mean a lot of it was justifiable, finding your baby brother cut up and stuffed in an oil drum is not the sort of thing you should take in stride, but I wasn’t dealing with it the way I should have.”

His hands twist on the beer bottle, and Chin’s eyes are drawn to the tiny inked cross between his thumb and forefinger. “I’d just lost my way.” He continues, quietly. “I’m sure you will agree that I’ve never been the most positive, optimistic of people, but it just felt like there was a grey cloud above me all the time. All I could think about was the bad stuff that had already happened, and all the bad things that could happen in the future and it was just so exhausting, you know? I didn’t like the person I was when I was like that, so I can’t really blame Steve or the rest of you for being annoyed with me either.”

“It’s not that we were annoyed with you,” Chin begins carefully, “It’s just that it was like poking a bear. We never knew what was going to set you off. Back when we first started the rants were funny, then they slowly turned angry, and by the end they just seemed resigned. Like you were going through the motions. I guess we were just so used to you and Steve handling each other’s problems that we just assumed we didn’t need to, even when you both started falling apart.”

“Ah, and there you have the heart of the matter my friend. We were both falling apart. I could barely handle my own problems, I certainly didn’t have the energy to confront an emotionally-constipated Navy SEAL and push him to talk about his feelings. And he was hurting, I know that. But when Steve’s hurting he lashes out, and after six years he knew all my weak points.”

“And maybe I could have stayed,” he continues, “Found some way to deal with my own crap and help Steve at the same time, but I was just so tired of him picking at me. Always testing me. Pushing me away to see if I’d come back, or if I’d cut and run like everyone else in his life. And I was tired of being angry with him, and with myself for being angry with him after everything he’d gone through. It was all just this horrible spiral and in the end… I guess… I could only see one way to break out.”

He downs the last of his beer and drops the bottle to the table with a dull clink. “And that is why I don’t like to think about the plane crash. It came to me, lying in that hospital bed, that for my son to grow up to hate me I would have to still be alive to watch him grow up. I mean, I don’t think I had a death wish, but our jobs are dangerous enough, and it was like I’d stopped caring you know? I mean, who goes after armed carjackers with a bow and arrow? Who goes on a raid with broken ribs? What the heck was I even thinking...” His face twists into a scowl, “I realized I couldn’t do that to my kids, I needed to get my head straightened out.”

“Jesus Danny.” Chin starts “I am so sorry brah. I had no idea...”

“Of course you didn’t.” Danny hurries to reassure him. “I’ve only realized of lot of this myself in the past few months.” He shifts in his seat as though whatever he’s about to say is deeply uncomfortable. “That’s the reason I start late on Thursdays. I’ve uh… I’ve been seeing a psychiatrist. She’s good, very good. She’s been helping me deal with some of the backlog of crap I have saved up. Helping me see it in a new way, find ways to deal with it without blaming myself.”

Chin looks Danny over again in light of this new revelation. There’s still a tightness around his eyes but overall he looks calmer, more relaxed in the bustle of a New York bar than he ever did in the tranquility of Oahu. It brings it home to Chin just how much the team had missed.

“Do you think you’d ever come back?” Chin queries softly, “We all miss you.”

“I think I well and truly torpedoed that possibility when I left.” Danny sounds tired and resigned. “And I knew that before I made my decision, but it still hurts that Steve hasn’t answered a single one of my calls.”

“I’m sure he’ll come around, he just needs time…”

“Chin, it’s been six months. I don’t think it’s gonna happen.”

“Well maybe seeing you at the wedding will change his mind.”

“You’re not gonna let that go, are you?”

“I’m not,” Chin confirms. “Come. It’s not until June, I’m sure things will have settled down by then.”

Danny sighs resignedly. “I said I’ll think about it, and I will. I promise. But I should probably get going. The kids are arriving back this weekend and I need to make sure my place is fit for human habitation by then.”

“How’s that going by the way? We heard from Eric that Rachel’s parents weren’t doing well.”

Nobody had believed Danny was serious about leaving until they’d heard Rachel was moving as well. Turned out her parents hadn’t been doing well for a while, she’d wanted to move back to England to be there for them, but Danny had talked her into New York as a compromise so the kids wouldn’t have to adjust to a completely new country. Chin’s never quite understood the push and pull of that particular relationship, but he supposes after a marriage and two kids it’s pretty much impossible to disentangle yourselves from each other. Although looking at his own family he can’t judge too harshly, after all he’s raising his psycho ex-brother-in-law’s child because he couldn’t imagine doing any less for Malia’s niece.

“It goes,” Danny states flatly. “I mean they’re not doing great, and it probably won’t be much longer so she wants to be there as much as possible for them ya know? And flying from New York to London is a lot easier than Honolulu to London.” The corner of his mouth quirks up. “Kinda weird how it all worked out so well. It means I have the kids most of the time while she’s with her parents, which is great, but the airfare is killing me. Shame she didn’t get more from Stan in the divorce, but it’s hard to fight an infidelity pre-nup when your son’s father isn’t your husband...”

Danny trails off and stares into the distance for a moment. “But anyway,” he says as he turns back around, “it’s been great to see you. Promise me you’ll stop by again next time you’re on the east coast.” 

“Or you could come and visit me at the wedding.” Chin responds, laughing. “I’m sending you an invite so you’d better be there Williams. Don’t make me sic Kono on you.”

Danny throws up his hands in mock frustration. “Fine, I’ll come, you win. I’ll put it in my calendar. Happy now?”

Chin looks him over. Danny’s face is twisted in a mock scowl but the laughter in his eyes belies his words. Chin smiles, “yeah, I am. Now you take care of yourself ok? I know Kono worries about who’s watching your back these days.” He stands and pulls the shorter man into a fierce hug. “But seriously brah, it’s good to see you doing so well. Say hi to Grace and Charlie for me, and I’ll see you soon, ok?”

“Ok, and you take care of yourself too… and keep an eye on Steve for me please. At the very least remind him that there are people that care about him for himself, not just his skills.”

Chin nods. Then Danny steps back and walks towards the exit and Chin pushes down on the unsettling feeling of deja vu as he pulls out his phone to call a cab back to his hotel.


	3. Chapter 3

JUNE 2017

Staring up at the imposing stone facade of the hotel Danny takes a deep breath. He needs a moment to try and gather himself for the emotional minefield he knows he’s about to face. The entire flight from New York to San Francisco he’d thought about calling Chin to cancel, saying something had come up at work. But he knows Chin and Evan have been emailing back and forth since they met in January and the kid would have gleefully ratted his boss out in a heartbeat.

Instead he gives himself a firm mental shake. _You can do this_ . _You face down hardened criminals on a daily basis, a wedding with a bunch of old friends should be easy._

Right. He hoists his bag back onto his shoulder and makes his way into the lobby. The space is enormous and it takes him a while to locate the reception desk hidden behind some potted palms. He’s barely made his way over to it before he hears a squeal from behind him.

_“DANNY?!”_

He turns just in time to brace himself against the counter as Kono throws herself at him and envelops him in a crushing hug. “Chin said he’d invited you but I didn’t think you’d come.” She pulls back and looks him over from head to toe. He’s not sure what she sees, but whatever it is it seems to meet with her approval. She grins at him. “Back to ties again, really? Didn’t we manage to cure you of _any_ of your haole ways?”

“Yeah well, what can I say? Back in civilized parts of the world professional people, by which I mean people that run police task forces, they wear ties.” He shrugs lightly and grins at her. What he doesn’t say is that every day it’s a visceral, painful reminder of all he left behind. In the grand scale of his life he wasn’t in Hawaii that long, less time than he had been married to Rachel, but it had left a similar gaping hole in his world when it ended.

“Yeah well, I guess I can cut you some slack then.” She concedes. “What room are you in?”

“I hadn’t actually got that far before you distracted me.” Danny turns back to find the concierge patiently waiting with his keycard in hand.

“Room 1548,” the man says with admirable restraint. “Do you need a hand with your luggage?”

“Nah,” Danny replies, hoisting his weekend bag onto his shoulder, “but thanks.”

Kono grabs the card from his waiting hand and moves towards the elevators, threading her way without hesitation through the cavernous lobby. “Come on, you’re just down the hall from me and Adam, I’ll show you the way.”

As they ride up in the elevator Danny asks “So where is Adam?”

“Oh,” Kono sighs, “he had some last minute business to take care of. He’s flying over later tonight. After losing so much time in prison it’s been a real struggle convincing his investors that he’s still legit. He’s having to work twice as hard as he did before to regain their trust.”

Danny reaches out and touches her shoulder, “I’m sorry you know, for doubting him during that prison break last year. I just didn’t want to see you get hurt again.”

“I don't need you to apologize. I might trust him completely but I don't expect everyone else to. But I appreciate that you looking out for me.” She waves a hand, “as far as I'm concerned it's forgiven and forgotten. But I'm sure Adam would appreciate hearing you say it.

The elevator dings announcing their stop.

“So you didn’t bring the kids with you?”

Her question is carefully casual and Danny thinks back to Grace’s disappointed pout when he’d said he was going alone and feels like a heel all over again. “I wasn’t too sure of my reception… and I uh, didn’t want to put them through that…”

“Oh.” She pauses outside his door and slides the card through the reader. “You know you’re still Ohana right? We were hurt and confused when you left but we’d never do anything to upset Grace and Charlie.”

“I know that babe, but this was always going to be hard for me, and I didn’t want to have to worry about them at the same time.”

If Danny’s honest with himself, which he’s trying to be these days, he didn’t want his kids to see their father fall apart. He’s pretty sure it’s going to happen at some point this weekend, probably when he finally runs into Steve. Something of what he’s thinking must have shown on his face because Kono envelops him in another bruising hug.

“I’m so sorry.” She pulls back and Danny can see tears forming in her eyes, threatening to spill over and roll down her cheeks.

“Hey, hey… what’s all this for? There’s nothing to be sorry about.”

“But there is, I was so mad at you for leaving I swore I’d never forgive you. And then when Chin came back from the conference and told me why you you did I felt so awful. But it had been too long and I didn’t know how to reach out… and every day that passed just made it harder… and Danny I’m sorry I didn’t notice…”

“Shhh babe. It’s ok. You were having a pretty crappy time too. I’d say it’s forgiven, but there was never anything to forgive. We all had our own shit to deal with in our own way. But I’m here now and I’m truly glad to see you, ok?”  
  
“Ok.” She pulls back and gives him a watery smile. “You going to the rehearsal dinner tonight?”

“Nah, I was planning to grab some food, maybe hit the gym for a bit and have an early night.” He figures he needs some peace and quiet to bolster himself for tomorrow. Also he knows Steve will be there tonight and he’s not quite ready to face him yet. Probably he’ll never be ready for that confrontation, but he’ll cross that bridge when he has to and not a moment before.

Kono gives him a skeptical look and opens her mouth, probably to insist that he has to come and be social tonight but he forestalls her. “I’m fine Kono, really I am. I’m not hiding in my room wallowing in teenaged angst. I’ve just had a long week, and I don’t want the jetlag to ruin me for tomorrow.”

She looks unconvinced but seems prepared to let it go for now. “Ok, but since I don’t have to be there for another hour we’re breaking into your minibar and I want to hear about everything you’ve been up to this past year.”

~~~~~

After Kono finally left to make her way downstairs to dinner Danny found his way to the hotel’s gym. A vigorous workout hadn’t done much to settle his mind, but it had left his body pleasantly sore and aching. He was looking forward to a long hot shower and possibly some room service before falling face first into his ridiculously comfortable bed.

He was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he didn’t notice he wasn’t alone in the hallway until the sharp click of a lock engaging caught his attention. He turned and froze.

It was Steve.

Wearing dark jeans and a suit jacket over a navy t-shirt and looking like he’d just escaped from a fashion shoot. He was still beyond attractive with his ridiculous height and the tattoos, even with his hair starting to show grey at the temples, but he was looking thin again like he did when they first met, fresh from too many hard missions and too little down time. Danny’s treacherous heart ached for him. Chin hadn’t been exaggerating when he said Steve wasn’t doing well.

For a moment Steve looked shocked, but then the blank mask came down and his eyes went cold and hard. “Daniel,” he acknowledged with a nod, and turned towards the stairs.

And Danny knows he has problems with speaking before he thinks, but even he can’t quite believe the words he hears coming out of his mouth “Really? Six years and that’s all you’ve got to say to me? Just one word?”

Steve pauses. “That’s the only thing I have to say that you’d want to hear.” he confirms without turning around. Then he’s pushing through the stairway door and gone before Danny can think up a response.

Shit.

~~~~~

Danny lies on top of the bed, too shaken to face the shower yet and thinks back to that day almost a year ago.

_He’d been cleaning some files off his desk as Steve came barrelling into the offices, pale and shaking, wearing an old pair of sweats and leaning heavily on Kono as he strode through the doors. “What the hell Danny?!” he’d yelled._

_Kono had hurried to apologize. “Sorry Danny, he wormed it out of me when I was visiting. He threatened that if I didn’t bring him he’d escape and come here anyway, and that didn’t seem like a good idea.”_

_Danny had exhaled heavily, and braced himself for the unpleasant confrontation he knew he was about to face. “It’s ok Kono, let’s just get him to a couch before he falls down, ok?”_

_Steve glared at him, anger and hurt chasing each other across his face. He’d shrugged off Kono’s arm and walked over to Danny’s couch where he’d collapsed, grimacing in pain. It was still only three weeks since the transplant surgery and he wasn’t supposed to be up and about yet._

_Kono had thrown Danny a look but he’d waved her off, “Go, go, it’ll be fine. I can handle this.”_

_The others apparently had better self-preservation instincts than Kono, as they’re already headed out the door as she catches up to them, leaving Steve and Danny alone._

_Danny had sat wearily in his office chair and dropped his head into his hands. This was not how he wanted this to go._

_“Danny?” Steve’s voice was quiet and small, “What’s going on man? You’re leaving Five-0 and you didn’t even tell me? What’s wrong?”_

_“I was going to tell you,” Danny started. “I was going to come by after I was done here, give you my resignation, explain the whole thing. But you’ve never let me do things my way before, why should you start now?”_

_“But what’s going on man? Things seemed fine a few weeks ago when you left the hospital. Did something happen? Is there a problem with Charlie?”_

_“No, no Charlie’s fine. Grace is fine too, it’s nothing to do with them. It’s to do with me ok? I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately and I just kinda realized something that I probably should've realized a while ago. It’s time for me to leave Five-0, probably past time.”_

He remembered agonizing over the decision for weeks. A few years ago it would have been a no-brainer, he’d never leave Hawaii, or the Ohana he’d built there. But then he wasn’t so sure. He was tired, tired of the never ending shitstorm that his life had become. Tired of never having enough time to recover from one blow before the next landed. He was also tired of the jokes, tired of the put-downs and the subtle insinuations that he wasn’t good at his job. It was getting harder and harder to drag himself to work in the mornings. He’d thought that his friendship with Steve could help him survive anything, but lately it too seemed to be cracking under the strain.

Then there were his kids. Steve’s comment about how Charlie would grow up to hate him had been running through a loop in his brain ever since. His whole existence was dedicated to being the best father possible to Grace and now to Charlie. Could he do that when he barely had enough mental energy to get through the day? And then there was Rachel, she’d been pushing at him, trying to get permission to move the kids to London so she could be near her family. Without Stan’s money Hawaii was just too expensive for her. She was blaming their divorce on Danny, helpfully forgetting her part in it, and was applying the guilt with a shovel.

Then the job offer had appeared like the answer to all his prayers. An opportunity to head up a new police task force back in New York. Home. The thought of it was tempting. Leading his own team, getting to do the job he loved. He’d be near his family again, able to stop by for Sunday dinners and see his sisters more often. He could probably convince Rachel to compromise on New York instead of London. He could make it work.

But could he really leave Hawaii? He’d fought so hard when he first arrived to stay apart, refused to change his mainlander ways. But now this place was home, his friends were here, Steve was here… but that was the problem wasn’t it. Steve wasn’t really in the pro column anymore.

Ever since the surgery he’d been more snappish and argumentative than usual. Anything Danny said was grounds for starting an argument. And the arguments were nastier, sharper, words thrown that were meant to hurt. He knew the man was facing an uncertain future, but that was no reason to take it all out on Danny. But maybe he deserved it, maybe Steve didn’t need Danny’s brand of negativity always bringing him down. Maybe he’d be better off without Danny there. Maybe they’d all be better without him there, after all he was ‘the weak link,’ and god that comment still hurt, even after all this time.

_“We’re not good anymore babe. We haven’t been for a while. Hell, the governor sent us to couples counselling, and we both know how badly that worked out. I just don’t like the person I become when I’m around you right now. I think it would be good for both of us to get some space, get our heads sorted out.”_

_“So when things get difficult you’re just gonna cut and run?” Steve sounded incredulous, like he couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of Danny’s mouth. “I never took you for a coward.”_

_“I don’t think it’s being cowardly to recognize that this isn’t working anymore, or that I need something that I just can’t get here.”_

_“... something you can’t get here? Christ Danny, nothing’s ever good enough for you is it?” Now Steve sounded really angry. “What does it take to make you happy?”_

_Danny had gritted his teeth and tamped down on his own rising anger. He was going to get through this calmly if it was the last thing he did. “I don’t know what makes me happy anymore Steven, and right there is the problem. I have no idea if I’ll find it in New York, but I know for sure that I won’t find it here.”_

_“You know what, we don’t need you anyway.” Steve had stared straight at Danny as he pronounced, “I accept your resignation.”_

_Danny had nodded, heart heavy even though it was what he’d meant to do. “Alright, I’ll serve out my two weeks notice, I should be gone by the time you get back to active duty.”_

_Steve had nodded curtly, risen from the couch and made his halting way out of the offices. Danny had watched him leave and resolutely ignored the rock in his gut that told him he’d just made the worst mistake of his life._


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So as far as Lynn and Melissa are concerned I’m treating them the same way the show does and ignoring them. Just assume that Melissa and Danny broke it off when he moved and Steve and Lynn just fizzled out.

The wedding the next day had passed in a blur. Like every wedding Danny had ever attended the bride was radiant and the groom couldn’t stop smiling. Sara had been enamoured of her flower girl dress and had twirled around like she hadn’t a care in the world. The shyness Chin had mentioned seemed to be fading and she’d fallen asleep on Abby’s lap during the speeches. 

Danny’s eyes however, had been on Steve almost the whole time he stood at the front in his role as best man. Steve was putting on a good show, laughing and joking with Chin and the rest of the team, while scrupulously avoiding even looking at Danny. It was impressive to watch, and if Danny hadn’t been the target of Steve’s little charade he would have applauded the skill with which he carried it out. 

During dinner Danny was pleasantly surprised to find himself at a table with Kono and Adam, Max, Sabrina, and the Grovers. The food was tasty but otherwise unmemorable, and though Danny had restricted himself to a single beer the others had all taken advantage of the open bar and the mood at the table was merry.

Danny and Lou had spent some time catching up on the gossip on each other’s children. Renee insisted that Grace was welcome to come visit anytime since she and Sam had kept in touch, bonded by their kidnapping experiences. Apparently Sam had started hinting that she might want to go to an east coast school for University in a few years so Lou pumped Danny for information about Seton Hall while the others offered commentary on why the University of Hawaii was the much better choice.

“I gotta know Williams,” Lou asks during a pause in the conversation, “How the hell did you manage to reign in your crazy partner over there for so long without killing him? I’m getting real tired of chasing him around telling him whatever he’s about to do is a bad idea.” 

Danny glanced at the head table where Steve was laughing at something Chin had said. To a casual observer he looked relaxed and happy, but Danny’s years of experience let him see the tightness in Steve’s shoulders, and the way the smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. If Danny had to guess he would bet Steve was falling back on his military training, compartmentalizing everything and pushing his emotions way, way down where they couldn’t distract him from his mission. Which in this case seemed to be to convince everyone that he was perfectly fine.

“Do you know what he did last week?” Lou continues, “he pushed a suspect down a flight of stairs. Do you know how hard that was to explain on the report?”

“Oh my friend,” Danny laughs, “that barely registers on the McGarrett scale of crazy. You must have heard about the shark cage, or the jet-ski incident? How about the time he opened a door with a grenade?” He sits back and waves his arms wide. “Now you know what I put up with all those years. At least it helped me with my creative writing skills. I don’t think I turned in a single report in all my time here that was more than half truth.”

“And I feel for you man, I really do. I don’t think I appreciated just how hard a job full-time Steve wrangling was until I had to do it,” Lou responds. “But he’s driving me crazy. I hate to think what kind of ulcers I’m developing.” He stops to take a sip of his drink. “Seriously though, what would it take to get you to come back?”

The mood at the table sombers instantly, as though Lou had broken an unspoken rule that nobody was to remark upon Danny’s visit in anything other than light-hearted, positive terms. Kono glared at him, and Lou twitched violently as though Renee had just elbowed in him the side. 

“What?! I’m just saying what everyone’s thinking. We need you back man.” 

Everyone at the table turns to look at Danny. He can feel the weight of their gazes, and he knew this moment would come eventually, but it doesn’t make it any easier to force the words out.

“I appreciate the vote of confidence Lou, really, I do. But I’ve got a new life in New York. It’s not to say I don’t miss all you,” Danny observes, tipping his beer bottle to indicate the people in question, “but my blood pressure has certainly returned to a normal range since I moved.” 

“Indeed,” Max added, “While we were all very distressed to hear that you were leaving the island, we would not want to cause you any undue guilt by implying that you should give up a job you enjoy to return to one that was affecting your health. And from the stories you have told tonight it sounds as though you have found an agreeable situation on the mainland.”

“Thank you for the vote of confidence Max. I always knew there was a reason I liked you.” Danny replies. 

“Whatever man.” Lou interrupts, “I’m just saying, if I don’t find a way to get McGarrett back under control soon I’m gonna have to take early retirement. And you don’t want to inflict that on poor Renee here, do you?”

“Oh shush you.” The woman in question retorts. “I’ve got plenty around the house that needs doing to keep you busy and out of my hair. It’s not gonna be all golf and afternoon naps.”

Everyone at the table laughs at the horrified expression on Lou’s face and just like that the tension seems to be broken. Then Max redirects the conversation by asking Adam about his latest business ventures and Danny is free to lean back and tune out for a moment. He takes the opportunity to glance around at the head table again and catches Steve looking at him with an unreadable expression. After six years he thought he’d seen every emotion Steve was capable of pass across his stupidly handsome face, but this one is new.

If Danny had to categorize it he’d say it was anger and perhaps... longing? For a moment he feels as though he can’t breathe, caught in Steve’s gaze. But then a comment from Abby grabs Steve’s attention and he blinks before turning away to respond. Danny turns back to his own tablemates to find Kono’s knowing eyes on him, but thankfully at that moment the DJ decides to start up and whatever she might have said is swallowed by the music.

Danny takes the opportunity to escape to the restroom and by the time he comes back most of the couples are on the dance floor and he’s free to sit quietly at the table and just watch. He ignores the tug of melancholy that he’s sitting here sad and single at forty. It’s a familiar grief these days, but he refuses to settle for someone he doesn’t love again, just to avoid being alone. 

Recognizing the familiar downward pattern of his thoughts he gives himself a firm mental shake. Things are good. He’s got his kids and his family close by again, and if the other side of his bed is particularly cold and lonely lately then that’s one small downside in an otherwise pretty ok life. It might not be the life he thought he was going to have, but the worst thing he could have imagined a few years ago; leaving Hawaii, has happened and he’s managed to survive. And after this weekend it looks as though he’s still got most of his friends. Yeah, he can live with this.

He smiles to himself, finishes his drink and stands. Striding across the dance floor he approaches his target. “Mind if I cut in?” Adam laughs and twirls Kono once more before placing her hand in Danny’s.

“Be my guest.” He responds.

As Danny and Kono make their way around the floor she stares at him. “You seem like you had an epiphany while you were sitting out there.”

“You know, I think I did.” He spins her around before continuing. “I realized that no matter what happens in my life I still get to call you all my friends.” 

“Oh Danny, you’re finally starting to see the positive side of things.”   
  
He laughs, big and loud. “Oh babe, better late than never right?”

“So does this new-found optimism mean you’ll go talk to Steve?” 

Danny sighs, “Why you gotta burst my good mood.” He glances over towards the head table just in time to see Steve slipping away from the party. 

“Go on,” Kono encourages. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

Danny looks at her incredulously. “What’s the worst that could happen? He’s an ex-navy SEAL, the worst that could happen is I disappear and they never find my body.” 

“Don’t worry,” she reassures him. “He’s not as familiar with San Francisco as he is with Honolulu. Someone would definitely find your body here.”

“Thanks, that’s real comforting.” But he gives her a quick hug before making his own way out of the ballroom in pursuit of his former partner.

~~~~

Despite the confident front he put on for Kono, Danny paces up and down the hallway for a good ten minutes before he works up the courage to approach Steve’s door. He’s faced down armed criminals and his own death without flinching, but the thought of talking to the man he’d thought of as his best friend has him in a cold sweat. Pulling himself together he knocks, and waits.

After an endless moment the door opens and Steve is standing there. He’s still in his suit from the wedding, tie discarded and the top three buttons of his shirt undone. In spite of everything Danny feels the familiar surge of desire racing through him and beats it back down savagely. Judging by the look Steve’s giving him he’s gonna be lucky not to have the door slammed in his face.. 

“What do you want Daniel.” Steve asks coldly. 

“What? Can’t a man stop by to check on his liver? Thought I might say hello to my old friend Steve at the same time.”

Steve sighs, “I don’t have the patience for your sense of humor tonight. Just go away.” He moves to shut the door but Danny’s faster and sticks his foot out to catch it.

“Look, I just wanted to talk. It’d be a lot easier to do that in your room instead of out here in the hallway.”   
  
“The time for talking was last year Daniel. I have nothing to say to you.”

“Yeah, but maybe I have some things to say to you, ok? And I’d rather not yell them through a closed door, so if you don’t mind…” He motions at the door which Steve grudgingly opens just wide enough for Danny to slip through. 

Danny strides into the room and turns around to face his former boss. Steve stays standing just inside the door, arms crossed over his chest, body at military attention. Not the most receptive audience, but he hadn’t actually slammed the door in Danny’s face so he’s hopeful he’ll survive the rest of this encounter.

“I wanted to apologize,” Danny begins. “I know it’s probably far too late, but I am truly sorry that I had to leave.”

Steve snorts. “You didn’t have to Danny, you choose to.”

“No, I had to.” Danny pauses, trying to rearrange the words he needs to say to soften the blow. “I was not in a good place at the end there. I was still blaming myself for Matty’s death and all the crap that followed. Then there was Rach’s lies about Charlie and his illness and it was just too much for me to handle…” he pauses to take a deep breath before continuing. Steve’s expression hasn’t changed, but he’s still listening so Danny will count that as a win. 

“I was tired Steven. Tired of all the crap that kept happening to me, tired of being the butt of all the team’s jokes, tired of not getting any respect…”

“So you left because you couldn’t take a joke?” Now Steve looks furious. 

“No,” Danny responds, his voice soft, “I left because you said Charlie would grow up to hate me, and in that moment I truly believed that he would.”

“Jesus, Danny.” Now Steve looks annoyed. “I didn’t mean it that way… you were just so negative all the time, I figured you needed something to snap you out of it…”

“And maybe once upon a time that might have worked, but we’d been picking at each other for too long. It was like I said at that couples retreat, if you keep picking eventually one of you will say something you can’t take back. That was it. I knew if I stayed eventually we’d destroy whatever remained of our friendship and I cared about you too damn much to let that happen. I needed to break out of the self-destructive little spiral we’d built for ourselves. I needed to get my head on straight and deal with my own shit before I could deal with fixing us.”  

“So I got out,” he continues, praying that Steve will understand, “and I got help, and and I’m doing ok now. I have a great team, a job I enjoy, and I get to see my kids grow up and know that they have a father they can be proud of. I’ll always regret leaving you and the others but I had to look after myself first.”

Throughout Danny’s speech Steve’s expression has been growing steadily darker. “You know, I’ve heard that crap before, from my Mom, from Cath, from Joe, but I never thought I’d hear it from you.” He spits. “I’m damn tired of people telling me they left for my own good. If you really cared you wouldn’t have left.” 

“Do you have any idea what my life is like now?” he continues, voice rising. “I was discharged from the navy, and I’ll be on immunosuppressants for the rest of my life, which might not be that long, since I’ve only got a fifty-fifty chance of living to see my sixtieth birthday. And on top of that the man I thought was my best friend left me to face it all  _ alone! _ ”

And that, that’s  _ it _ . Danny’s come too far in the last year to let Steven ‘abandonment issues’ McGarrett turn it all around and throw it back on him. 

“Don’t you dare put that on me,” he yells back. “I gave you half my fucking liver Steven. I was prepared to give away pieces of myself until there was nothing left if it meant you would be ok. But that wasn’t enough, and I realized that nothing would ever be enough. I wasn’t gonna set myself on fire anymore to keep you warm.” He starts pacing back and forth across the plush carpet, words coming faster and hands flying.

“I didn’t want to come this weekend ‘cause I knew we’d end up like this. But Chin’s worried about you, Grover’s worried about you, hell everyone is worried about you. And like always, I’m the one that’s gotta confront you about it, cause that’s what we do for each other, even if we’ve lost everything else along the way.”

Danny slows his pacing and dares a quick glance at Steve. He’s still standing ramrod straight, but his face is an expressionless mask. “You need help Steven, you need to deal with this shit, cause if you keep pushing everyone away eventually you’ll succeed. And I know you think you don’t need anybody, but you’ve got friends that care about you and want you to be ok. Don’t make them worry like this.”

“You think I don’t care?” Steve sounds skeptical.

“I think you don’t realize how much you’re hurting, and how you lash out. I think you have a lot of crap you haven’t dealt with going all the way back to your mom’s death, and I think it’s reached breaking point. And I’m so sorry for my part in that, but it didn’t start with me. You just keep burying everything deeper and deeper and convince everyone that you’ve got it under control. Well guess what buddy, you don’t.”

“What gives you the right,” Steve’s yelling now, stepping forward and looming over Danny. “You don’t get to just show up and pick up like you never left. You left Danny. You did the one thing I don’t think I’ll ever forgive you for. This-” and he gestures between the two of them “-was done the moment you got on that plane. You don’t get to toss aside six years of friendship and then come back to it when you’re ready. We’re done. Do you hear me? We were done when you left and nothing you’ve said is going to change my mind.”

“I’m not trying to do that. I just… I just want you to be ok.” Danny lowers his voice, knows that this is it, maybe the last conversation he’ll have with Steve. “Even after everything I care about you…. I… I love you, and I want you to be happy.”

“Yeah, sure.”

“No, listen. If this is gonna be the last time we talk I want you to know, I do love you. I think I’ve loved you since the day you got the Governor to lean on Stan so I could keep Gracie.” He can’t meet Steve’s eyes anymore, letting his own gaze fall to the carpet between his feet.

“And for a while I thought that maybe you felt something too. But you kept pushing me at other people. You pushed me to go out with Gabby, and when that fell apart you pushed me to get serious with Melissa. And then you were gonna marry Catherine and I figured that was it. At least I still had you as a friend, but now we’ve lost even that, and I’m sorry... I’m so sorry to lay this on you on top of everything else, but I just needed you to know. Know that no matter what’s happened between us all I want is for you to be happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

And that’s it, that’s his heart laid bare and bleeding at Steve’s feet. If this is the last time they ever speak at least he’ll have no regrets about things left unsaid.

He looks up, and If he thought Steve looked angry before, now he looks positively murderous. “Get out.” He whispers, his voice cold and implacable. He strides to the door and wrenches it open. “ _ GET OUT! _ ”  

Normally Danny’s not intimated by Steve, despite his obvious ability to follow through on his threats. But looking at the viscous rage twisting his features right now Danny’s sure that if he protests Steve will pick him up and physically throw him from the room. He’s moving forward and through the door before his conscious mind even realizes he’s made the decision. 

The door slams shut behind him and he hears a muffled thud as though a fist has collided with the solid wood. Danny winces in sympathy for Steve’s knuckles. As he stands there he realizes he’s shaking. The adrenalin from the fight is starting to wear off leaving him twitchy and empty. He knows he should head back to the reception, try to accept the part of his life that he’s leaving behind shattered and broken on the floor of Steve’s room, but right now all he wants is a drink. 

~~~~~~~

He’s sitting at the hotel bar with his head bowed, nursing a scotch when Kono slides onto the stool beside him. 

“Are you even allowed to be drinking that?” She asks.

He huffs out a small sound of amusement. “My liver’s fine these days, it’s just my heart that’s broken. Speaking of hearts, shouldn’t you back at the party dancing with your husband?”

“Adam needed a break, and I figured I’d find one of you down here.” She gestures around at the decor, and how the hell did Chin manage to find a hotel in San Francisco with a Tiki themed bar anyway? “I take it the conversation didn’t go well?”

“That’s definitely one way to put it. He told me we were done, that he has no interest in trying to salvage our friendship. He told me to get out, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen him look so hurt and angry. Not even when Cath left.”

Kono leans toward him and wraps an arm around his shoulders. “Oh Danny. I’m sorry.”   

“It’s alright. I didn’t really think I’d just apologize and everything would be ok again.” He takes a sip of his drink before continuing. “I just didn’t expect that level of vitriol.”

“Vitriol.” Kono repeats. “I see you still have your word-a-day calendar then.”

“Ha ha.”

“Seriously though, I’m sorry it didn’t work out. I really hoped it would, for both your sakes.”

“Yeah well, I’ve lived the last year wondering if he hated my guts. I guess I don’t have to wonder any more.”

“I’m sure he doesn’t hate you…” she sounds uncertain.

“It’s ok… seriously… I mean... I knew this would happen when I left. I’ve had… I’ve had time to get over it.” He raises his glass and drains it. “And I’m sorry to be a killjoy but I have an early flight to catch in the morning so I’m going to head to bed. It was great to see you babe, I’m just gonna go say goodbye to everyone.”

Kono looks at him and starts to protest, but the raw grief she must see on his face stops her. Instead she pulls him in for another hug. “Alright, but take care of yourself Danny, ok? And don’t be a stranger.”

“Don’t you be a stranger either. If Adam’s business ventures ever bring you to New York you better look me up. I’ll take you out for a real New York pizza, none of this ham and pineapple crap.”   


She laughs, and he hugs her one last time before making his way back to the ballroom to say his goodbyes. He manages to plaster a fake smile on his face as he makes his excuses to Chin, Abby and the rest of them. Everyone seems truly honest in their well wishes and demands that he comes back and visit and it’s a while before he can extricate himself and make his way back to his room. The hallway is quiet and he pauses outside Steve’s door for a moment. He wants so badly to be able to waltz in without knocking and find Steve there with two beers and a goofy smile. To be able to just sit side by side out on the balcony and bicker contentedly just like the old days. Instead he lays his palm gently against the door for a moment and lets himself grieve for what he’s lost.

“Aloha Steve,” he whispers.

Then he makes his way back to his room and collapses into bed, and if his pillow gets a little bit damp there’s nobody there to see it but him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And for all of you who commented to say how heartbreaking the last chapter was, please know that I cackled maniacally as I posted this one.


	5. Chapter 5

SEPTEMBER 2017

Danny sighs deeply as he strides through his front door. He tosses his soaking umbrella onto the floor and rips off his tie. The whole day had just been one disaster after another.

First he’d overslept and as a result had been late dropping the kids off at school, Gina had used the last of the coffee at work so everyone was uncaffeinated and cranky, and the evidence for one of their cases had been mislaid on it’s way to the lab. Then Mark had been shot in the arm as they tried to arrest one of the new batch of drug-smugglers who had risen up to try take over Moyle’s place now he was in prison, and the paperwork for that had kept them busy long into the evening. And to top it all off the dark clouds that had been lurking overhead all day started raining just in time to drench him as he ran from the car to his apartment.

At least now he was home, hopefully nothing else would go wrong and he could order some pizza, sprawl out on the couch and finally relax. Thank god the kids are at their mother’s tonight, that means there’s nobody to judge him as he makes his way to the drawer full of take-out menus in the kitchen.

He doesn’t even get halfway there before someone begins pounding on his front door. With a heartfelt groan he turns and retraces his steps. It better not be Mr. Harris from upstairs complaining about the heating again. He’s in complete agreement that it’s foolish to switch the building over to winter heating before the end of September, but he definitely doesn’t want to discuss it again. He wrenches the door open and stops dead.

It's not Mr. Harris.

It’s Steve.

He’s looking wet and tired, his typical uniform of cargo pants and t-shirt rumpled and creased, speaking of long hours spent travelling in cramped conditions. His hair is plastered to his forehead and rain is dripping off his clothes and collecting into a puddle on the floor. Despite his bedraggled state he’s still the most beautiful man Danny’s ever seen and he feels his heart skip a beat as he looks at him.

“Steven? What the hell are you doing here?” Danny demands. He figures the best defence is a good blustery offence and right now he’s completely off kilter.

“Hey Danno.” Steve says softly. “Can I come in?”

“You’ve never asked before, what’s stopping you now?” Danny demands.

“I was never unsure of my reception before.” Steve states, looking over Danny’s shoulder into the apartment.

“What’s going on Steven, did something happen? Is everyone ok?”

“No, it’s nothing like that. Everyone’s fine.” He hurries to reassure Danny. “It’s just, I… I needed to talk to you, and I didn’t want you to be able to hang up on me.”

Danny sighs and steps to the side, waving his arm to invite his former partner in. Then he makes his way to the bathroom and grabs a towel. He heads back to the entryway to find Steve still standing there looking uncertain and dripping on the carpet. Danny tosses the towel at his head and turns towards the kitchen.

“Coffee?” he calls out brusquely.

“Uh, what?” Steve sounds thoroughly confused, and Danny takes some petty satisfaction for derailing whatever script Steve had in his head about how this conversation was gonna go.

“Coffee, would you like some? It’s been a day from hell and if you need me to stay awake for longer than the next fifteen minutes I need caffeine. You look like you could do with some too.”

“Um… yes please.” Steve responds, slightly muffled by the towel over his head as as he attempts to dry his hair.

Danny takes the few minutes while the coffee’s brewing to collect himself. He’d honestly never expected to see Steve again after the disaster of their last meeting. He’s not sure what it portends that Steve is here now, but he kind of hates that he’s so pathetically pleased to see him. He pours the coffee into two mugs and makes his way back to the living room to find Steve pacing nervously back and forth.

“Stop that, you’ll wear a hole in the carpet,” he grouses.

Steve startles, and something must be really wrong if he’s so out of it he hadn’t heard Danny approach. He accepts the mug Danny holds out to him (no sugar, one lump of butter) and curls his hands around it carefully. He lowers his head to inhale the steam and Danny steals the opportunity to check him over. He’s looking better than when they last met. He’s lost the gaunt and sickly look and he’s put on a bit of weight. The pinched look of tension is gone from his face as well and the line of his shoulders seems much more relaxed. Seeing the visual evidence of Steve’s improving health Danny feels some of the worry he’s been carrying around since the summer start to lessen.

Danny takes a sip of his own coffee and when Steve doesn’t seem like he’s going to say anything he spreads his arms wide and remarks, “Alright, what’s so damned important you had to fly five thousand miles to talk to me about?”

Steve straightens, swallows, and puts on his _I-will-complete-this-mission-no-matter-the-cost_ face, the one he normally wore when Danny refused to do his paperwork for him. “I need to apologize.” Steve says, twisting his hands around his mug nervously. “You were right, I have abandonment issues.” Danny snorts and Steve glares at him. “And that may have influenced my behavior the last time we talked.”

Danny raises an eyebrow as if to say _really?_ And Steve has the grace to look embarrassed.

“When you saw me at the wedding I… I wasn’t doing well, I hadn’t been for a long time. And I understand now that you needed to look after yourself first, but the amount of crap I’d been carrying around all the way back to Doris’ ‘death’, and then all the uncertainty and fear of the transplant on top of that had blinded me to anything but my own pain, my own misery. Watching you leave was just the final straw.”

“Steven…” Danny starts.

“No, let me speak. You got your chance to talk, this is mine.”

He pauses and looks Danny straight in the eyes. “When you left I called you a coward. But it was me who was the coward, and I'm sorry it took me so long to realize it. I can see now how unfair I was being to you that last year, to our friendship, but I just couldn’t seem to stop. I was so afraid of you seeing how broken I was that I kept pushing you away. I kept you from trying to help me because that would have meant admitting that I needed help, and I couldn’t bear the thought of being so weak.”

And it's exactly what Danny thought was happening, but hearing Steve admit it breaks his heart a little. This man deserves so much better than what life has given him. “It’s never weakness to admit you need help babe.”

“I know. I just…” He laughs a little sadly, “I just couldn’t do it.” He stops and touches his hand to his stomach where the scar is hidden beneath his shirt, and Danny feels a phantom ache in his own. “I was so angry at all the people that had left me, and I was so angry about all the shit that kept happening to me, and I took that anger out on the one person who least deserved it.”

And Danny could make some snarky comment about how of course he hadn’t deserved it, but Steve looks so contrite that he can’t find it in him. It’s all he’d wanted; for Steve to realize that neither one of them deserved all the blame for how bad things had become and now he’s finally reached that point Danny can’t find it in him to be anything but sympathetic. He knows how hard it was to acknowledge his own part in the destruction of their friendship.

“And then after the transplant I was even more afraid,” Steve admits quietly. “I was afraid of how easily you could just give away a part of yourself and ask for nothing in return. I was terrified of what that said about me that you thought I was worthy of such a sacrifice, even after I treated you so badly.”

“Steven…” Danny can't quite give voice to the maelstrom of thoughts swirling around in his head. He wants to say it’s ok, that he understands, that he's never blamed Steve for not feeling the same way but he can’t find the words.

“No,” Steve places his cup on the coffee table and turns to face Danny straight-on. “You've been the brave one all this time and the least I can do is be brave about this in return. I love you Danny. I have since you punched me in front of all those cops outside Doran’s house. I was just too afraid to admit it, even to myself. But you were the first person who refused to put up with my shit, the first person to call me out when I was being a jerk, and the first person to care enough about me to force yourself into my life and give me the family that I craved.”

And right there Danny feels the broken pieces of his heart come to life again.

“And I made it so hard for you.” Steve continues, “I kept pushing you away. I told myself I was doing it to keep myself safe, to protect my heart for when you finally left like everyone else. But when you finally did it didn’t help a damn bit, it still felt like my world had ended. I put up these walls to protect myself and all they did was drive you away, the one person who would have stayed no matter what.

Danny opens his mouth to respond but Steve forestalls him with a gesture.

“And I'm sorry I couldn't say it three months ago but I was just so twisted up inside. I hated seeing you so happy at the wedding, living a life without me. You know I lash out when I’m hurting, and I just couldn’t accept that I might have screwed up the thing I wanted most in the world. Those were the words I’d been longing to hear for six years, and yet when you finally said them to me all I could hear was that I’d failed you. I threw you out because I couldn’t face the thought that you could still cared for me after the way I’d treated you. I was ashamed of my behavior, and I couldn't accept that I deserved your love.”

“So I took your advice and I got help.” Steve continues with more confidence. “I’ve been seeing a psychiatrist who specializes in counselling veterans with medical issues and I’ve found a PTSD support group to deal with some of the other crap I’ve been carrying around from my time with the SEALS. I mean... I absolutely hate it... talking about my emotions the whole time, you’d probably laugh your ass off if you could see me. But like you said, I had to fix myself before I could think about fixing us.”

He drops his eyes to the carpet, “I knew I needed to be strong enough to survive if you turned me away tonight.” He confesses quietly. “Because I came here to apologize, but I also have to know. After everything we’ve said, everything that’s happened, do you think there’s still a chance for us? Even just as friends?”

Steve raises his gaze to Danny’s, holding his breath, and in his eyes Danny can see the same heady mixture of terror and hope that he himself is feeling.

“Oh babe,” Danny whispers, “I tried to get over you, but when have you ever made anything easy for me. I loved you even when we hated each other, even when there was five thousand miles between us. It's always just been you.”

Steve exhales “Oh thank god.” Then he's striding forward and gently cupping Danny's cheek. “I've been waiting to do this forever,” he whispers as he gently leans forward and presses their lips together.

It’s everything Danny had ever hoped for. Steve’s lips are soft and he kisses like Danny is something precious, like he can’t believe he’s finally allowed to do this after so long wanting it. Danny moves to deepen this kiss and Steve parts his lips so sweetly, so eagerly. And really, how can Danny resist an invitation like that? He slips his tongue inside Steve’s mouth and the kiss quickly turns hotter and more frantic. After a few more breathless moments Danny pulls back, nipping at Steve’s lower lip as he goes, and Steve lets out a groan.

He leans down to rest his forehead against Danny’s and they stay like that for a long moment, breathing deeply. “Just so you know,” he mutters, “now I know what it’s like to kiss you, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to stop. And I don’t care if you come back to Oahu, or if I have to move here to make it work, I just can’t bear to live without you. I did it once, and it almost killed me, I’m not letting go of you again.”

He places his hand on Danny’s stomach, gently resting it over the scar there. “You saved me Danny, so many times. Now I want to spend the rest of my life letting you know just how grateful I am.”

“Oh babe,” Danny replies, his heart full to bursting. “After everything it took to get us here I’m not gonna let go of you either.”

~~~~~~

Despite the pounding rain of the night before the morning is turning out unseasonably warm. Gina curses the office’s ancient air conditioner as she wrenches open the window in hopes of a breeze. As she turns back to her desk she’s stopped by the voices she hears floating up from outside.

“Let go you animal, I’m late for work as it is…”

“But Danno…”

“No, no, no. Do not pull the puppy dog eyes on me. I have kids, I’m immune.”

It’s the Chief, and another voice she doesn’t recognize. She leans out the window and looks down. They're standing just around the side of the building, out of sight of the people coming and going from the main entrance. The Chief’s friend is tall and dark haired but the way he's standing she can't make out his face. He's built though, the shirt he's wearing is pulled tight across his chest and biceps. Wait… isn't that one of the Chief’s shirts? She thinks she recognises the bullet hole through the sleeve. Interesting...

“I told you I have to go to work today,” her boss continues. “But I'll be home for dinner. I'm sure you can find something to do in this city to keep you occupied until then.

“I know how I'd _like_ to keep myself occupied…”

The other man leans forward and whispers something into the Chief’s ear. Gina has no idea what he says but judging from the way the Chief blushes right to his hairline she's prepared to bet it was filthy.

“God, you can’t say things like that to me in public…” the Chief protests weakly.

“We could go back to your place. That's nice and private…”

“No, I have to get to work… If I don't show up soon my team is gonna start wondering where I am and come looking. And if they figure out you’re in town they’ll want to meet you and then we’ll have to go out and be social tonight, instead of staying in and trying out that little idea you just shared with me. And I'm pretty sure you don't actually want that.”

The man’s shoulders slump. “You’re right.”

“I’ll tell you what babe, if it's slow today I'll send everybody home early. Deal?”

That must work for the man cause he reaches forward and pulls the Chief in for a scorching kiss that makes _Gina’s_ toes curl. Then they pull apart and head towards the entrance. As they do Gina finally gets a good look at the man’s face. It seems strangely familiar, but they’ve disappeared round the front of the building before she can work out where she’s seen him before. 

Gina saunters back to her desk and roots out the office furniture catalogue from the bottom drawer. If the Chief wants her to keep this quiet from the rest of the team he’s gonna owe her a new chair at least. Something with lumbar support. She spins back and forth as she peruses the options. Watching as the Chief makes his appearance from the corner of her eye. Finally, decision made, she strides across the office and knocks on the Chief’s door.

He's sitting behind his desk working his way through a pile of administrivia forms that make Gina glad once again that she's not the boss. She hates paperwork.

“So boss, a little bird told me that you're hoping for a quiet day today.”

He looks up at her, suspicion written all over his features. “What makes you think that?”

“Just a little conversation I heard outside this morning…” She lets her eyes wander around the office and suddenly freezes. That's the man! He’s in a photo of the Chief’s old team from Hawaii. He’s in the middle of the group standing next to her boss with an arm around his shoulders and a wide grin upon his face. It’s her boss’ old partner, the one he always brings up when any of his new team get it into their heads to toss due process out the window. Suddenly a lot of pieces fall into place.

The Chief sees the direction of her gaze and chuckles. “So what exactly was your plan? That you’d come in here and try to blackmail me into an afternoon off in order to protect my secret boyfriend? The one that’s an ex-navy SEAL, who can kill a person with nothing more than a paperclip, the same one who would be very disappointed to have to adjust our plans for the evening? Is that it?”

Gina shakes her head furiously. “Not at all. I, uh, just wanted to let you know I restocked the coffee supplies this morning.”

“I see.” He grins. “If that’s all then I’d like to get back to this paperwork. I don’t want to have to stay late in order to get it all done.” He remarks pointedly.

“Got it boss.” She tosses over her shoulder as she spins on her heel and walks out. After a moment she pokes her head back around the doorway. “So... does he have any siblings?”

“Go away!” he yells, but there’s laughter in his voice.

Gina smiles to herself as she heads back to her desk. Her boss is a good man, he deserves all the happiness he can get.

*THE END*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it folks. Thank you so much to everyone who read, left kudos, or commented on this. This is my first time writing anything longer than about 3000 words and it means so much to me that it spoke to so many people. You've all been amazing, thank you!
> 
> Now to spend the rest of the day breathlessly waiting for the premiere tonight.


End file.
